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Repeat After Me

Surviving Life, Love & Babies..

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November 2015

The Endless Questions of Parenthood.

The biggest thing parents DON’T bother to tell prospective parents is how mind-numbingly endlessly confusing being a parent is. I’d kill for a week off. Not literally of course; that would make me a psycho. But man – a week in Raro, umbrella drink in hand and my biggest worry how sunburnt my lilly-white ass is getting – that is my idea of heaven right now.

My son has just popped through his first little teeth. Happy joy, right? NO. No happy. No joy.

This last week has been back-to-back whining, crying, refusing food, refusing his favourite boobs, not happy when jumping with Daddy, not happy when rolling about on the floor, momentarily happy on the back lawn (if only the sun would bloody come out a little more!!), winging till he’s got mum AND dad’s full attention but not knowing what to do with it once he’s procured it, waking up at all hours of the day and night, 1.5 hour naps suddenly turning into 35 min ones.. sigh.

And that’s without all the questions. MY GOSH. THE ENDLESS QUESTIONS.

Is he pooping too much? Too little? Is his head too hot? Too cold? Too red? What is that red mark? Why won’t those rough patches go away? Shall we go to the doctor again for a better cream, or wait and see? Are those spots? Shall I google Measles and see? Have you given him a bath? Is every second day too long between? Does that create or ruin the routine? Why does he cry so much when he gets dressed? Do babies prefer to be naked? Will he get cold if I leave him naked for longer than 3 minutes? How long do you have to do nappy-free time for? Are those pants too tight for him tummy? Does he have a poop in his pants? Did I just put him to bed without changing his nappy? Does that make me a mean parent? Why is he crying like that? Should I pick him up? Should I leave him in the cot? Should I just rock him to sleep so we can all have a moment’s rest? Can he see the TV from there? Is that going to numb his brain cells? Is the screaming on the movie going to give him bad dreams? Can he sleep with that racket on in the background? Is it better to turn the white noise up or let him hear some household noise? Will it help him sleep longer? Am I overusing it? Why did he only sleep for 20 minutes then? Should I put him in the portacot now and then to help him sleep somewhere else? Should we just put him on a big bed and let him sleep there when we’re out? Should we even go out at bedtime or is it better to stick to the routine? What if he doesn’t sleep there at all and ruins the evening? Is it better to stay at home and bring people here? What shall I cook – can he eat it too? Should I be making sure he eats some green vegetables? Will he turn orange from all the carrots and pumpkin? Should I be making my own and freezing it? Do we need a bigger freezer? Should I be spoon-feeding or letting him mash it with his hands and make a huge mess? What if he takes a big mouthful and chokes on it? Should I just let daddy be in charge of eating? What about messy play? Am I a bad mum if I haven’t let him coat himself in avocado, ever? Am I too worried about the mess? Will he really not learn as much if I don’t let him get it all over him? What about learning rules though? Are the days of, ‘don’t play with your food’ all over now, are they? What about the wastage and the children in Africa? Should he sit in his chair only to eat? But what about if he’s just chewing on something? Will these rusks dry like concrete on my floor? What about if I’m out and can’t heat up his normal food? Will people give me dirty looks if he cries in the cafe? What if I can’t fit the pram into the cafe? Will I have to hold him the whole time? Should I be wearing him anyway? What if sitting in the pram all day is giving him abandonment issues? What about at home? Am I leaving him to play too long on his own? Should I be offering more interesting toys and activities? Should I look on Pinterest for more ideas again? What if he doesn’t learn to entertain himself and becomes one of those annoying kids who says, ‘I’m bored’ all day long? Shall I leave him longer when he winges? Will he lose trust in me if he cries too long?question mark

Just saying.

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Plan for Today. I can do this.

SO I’ve had my first week of being serious again, and I’ve made a start – did x5 exercise which is the best effort for months, but need to really get serious about sticking to my calories. After months and months of giving in to every whim and fancy (and cake and biscuit and chocolate square) – I’m finding it quite hard to be disciplined. I’m counting my points up late in the day and finding ‘m already waay too close to the line, and then it blows out. Hmm.

I’m seriously going to have to plan ahead more if I’m going to get anywhere.

So.

Tomorrow’s plan.

BREAKY: Eggs and avocado for breaky, 1 toast.

SNACK: 2 peanut butter balls and a cup of tea for snack

LUNCH: Tuna, Sweet Potato and Salad

SNACK: Homemade low cal muffin, spirulina smoothie.

TEA: Schnitzel and Veggies. Strawberries & yoghurt for dessert. Chai tea later on.

Right. I’ve put it out there for all the world to see, so now I’m going to have to stick to it. AND do a walk or exercise DVD. AND drink my 4 huge glasses of water (8cups).. AND stay sane enough to deal with my darling son who has decided to teeth and get a rash. Joy. I can do it, right?

Goodo – have a good day, all J

Me Right Now.. Starting from Scratch.

So. I’m all caught up, and I want to move forward from here. Thanks for sticking with me 🙂

start

This is where I am at right now. I weigh 100kgs (again), on the dot. My ass has got noticeably bigger. Everything is ‘jelly marshmallow’, as my husband puts it as kindly as he can, lol. My motivation was lost somewhere in the ether and I’ve been working around to getting started back up on this journey again.

I have had a baby, and my beautiful son is now almost 7 months old. During the pregnancy, I was very careful, very smart about my eating, and not just a little bit lucky, and I only put on 3 kgs by the time he was out.

But then came life with a baby. I was totally unprepared. A baby who doesn’t love to sleep much, at that. And a baby who is constantly dealing with tummy cramps and gas and has screaming fits if I eat a whole raft of foods, some of them what used to be my healthy staples.

So. SINCE the baby came out, I have put on 8 kgs. SO disappointed in myself. But pragmatic, too. I just couldn’t care about that as well as everything else over the last months. I had enough trouble with learning to be a mum, learning to deal with 4-5 hours of sleep per night, learning not to have a tantrum every time someone woke him up, learning to reach for cake and biscuits and whatever the heck I could reach from the breastfeeding chair where I was hungry, hungry, HUNGRY no matter what I packed in. Sigh.

So now I need to make my way back. It’s a long way back, or it feels like it. It took me a long time to lose 10kgs last time, but I don’t have that luxury this time, as I want to have another child sometime very soon, which means I need to get this weight off fast. I hope what I have learnt so far helps me do that more efficiently this time!!

Sigh, wish me luck lol.

Repeat After Me: it’s time to get this train back on the track. Indeed.

Getting back off the crazy train…

So I’m noticing, like most things in life, that not a lot happens to you without you allowing it to happen. Okay, sure, there the terrible and sad events in life which sadly seem to be a permanent part of this flawed world we live in, and if we focussed on those things in life I think we’d go insane and lose all direction. I can’t answer for those things, but I can answer for the things I have control over. My thoughts, my actions, my words to others, ..my emotions.

I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely here a big part because I’ve spend a lot of time shifting the blame onto someone (anyone!) else, in order to avoid taking on the very difficult responsibility and journey of changing myself. Why? Because it’s damn hard!! And because every time I feel like I’m getting somewhere, another area of my life rears its head and demands attention, and upsets the apple cart all over again! For example, my husband and I have been going to marriage counselling, which, while at times tiring and emotional, has been extremely useful and wonderful for instilling some new hope and direction in our marriage. So on that front, I’ve been feeling positive and like we’re getting somewhere and on top of things, but then BAM, we decide to go to NZ, and all our plans and ideas are up in the air, we’re changing country, and house, and car, and jobs, and hubby will be unemployed, and we don’t REALLY know what to expect, and it’s more than a bit scary. And I’ve always been the adventurous one, the let’s-go-do-it one, but this time I think I’m just SO OVER shifting and changing and starting again, 4th time in 4 years in our 3rd new city, that I’ve been feeling really negative about it all… and taking it out on hubby, who has been wonderful through it all, but it’s starting to wear thin. I’m going to have to get control of myself again, and quickly, before I destroy the good things we built during counselling and during my last 6 months of WW.

It’s funny though, even while I’m rolling in self pity, or grumping at hubby, or feeling stressed about the length of the to-do list, there is always still this little part of my brain, right up the back somewhere, that’s going, Anna – it’s not that bad, Anna – you’ve seen worse, Anna – there are actually more good things here than you can count, stop being a whiner. Get control of your emotions, stop being emotionally lazy and allowing yourself to ride the rollercoaster of ‘whatever I feel, I am.’ You don’t have to be that person.

I mean, I was that person at 15, but as an adult, I can take a little more responsibility for where and who I am, I should think! ..touch wood.. I can do things a little more graciously. I can note the good thing hubby is doing and encourage him instead of pointing out the things he gets wrong. I can be grateful that I’m not stacking on weight like I used to in a stressful time and am at least maintaining the 10kgs I’ve lost. I can appreciate my friends and family and make time to chat or skype them whether I am heading to live near them or moving further away. I can ask myself whether something is a big enough issue that it will still be a problem in a month before I blow up at someone or have a pity party. I can choose to focus on the positives of the beautiful and exciting aspects of the place I’m going, rather than the scary or negative ones.

I can do a little better than I’ve been doing, and have a little more fun along the way. So… I’m working on a little attitude adjustment here… not allowing the crazy train to run my life no more! 🙂 Well – that’s the plan. We’ll see how I go!

Baby Food, Maybe Food..

So. Continuation of the baby food exploration.

I’ve realised that my son has a sweet tooth the size of China, and I really need to do something about balancing that up. Was thinking about different flavours, textures and food styles, and am going to try to have a variety of them in his diet – just so he can keep trying new things. I so don’t want a kid who won’t eat anything but pasta and tomato sauce later!!

So:

Sweet – far too easy and obvious, but: Sweet Potato, Pumpkin, Fruits – Prunes, Bananas, Mangoes, Pears, Peaches, Grapes, Berries, etc, Carrot, canned Beetroot, Custard..

Sour/Tart  – Kiwifruit, Grapes, Lemon, Yoghurt, Sour Cream, Pickles, Cranberries, Pineapple, Lime..

Salty/Savoury – Crackers, Seaweed, Meat and veg mixes, Vegetable mixes..

Bitter – Rocket, Spinach, Kale, Brussels Sprouts..

Creamy – mushy peas, Avocado, Cheese, mashed Potato/Kumera, Egg Yolk, Peanut Butter, Corn..

Crunchy – Capsicum, raw Carrot, raw Apple, raw Broccoli, Snow Peas, Celery..

Spicy – Garlic, Chilli, Curry, Ginger..

Watery – Melons, Celery, Cucumber..

Chewy/Rubbery – Pita Bread, Broccoli stems, Green Beans, Lychees, Pineapple, Noodles..

Soft – Pancakes, Scrambled Egg, Banana, Avocado..

lemons

…..Off to make some scrambled eggs for breaky. If the boy is lucky, he might get some.. maybe.. 🙂

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